Some of you may know that I have “bit the bullet” so to speak and signed up to run a marathon. Yes, I did say marathon….and yes, I am very well aware that a marathon means running 26.2 miles. I know…I am probably crazy but this is something that I have always dreamed of doing athletically but never thought it could become a reality.
I have been progressing very well in our training according to my partners who seem pleased with our progress. On Saturday mornings we do our “long runs” and this past Saturday 16 miles was on the agenda. I was hoping for another great run like I had the previous Saturday when we did 15, but it started to fall apart at the end. I began experiencing joint pain in my right hip and knee. I knew it was not an injury so to speak but my body adjusting to the distance that we were running. I finished the run but was very concerned about the joint pain and wondering if my body was going to let me continue training.
Earlier this week I made a trip to GNC for Glucosamine/Chondroitin etc…. All week long I would attempt to pray about this because I really want to be able to continue my training and run the marathon on January 13th but there was this guilt that would come up. There was this feeling of needing to avoid God on the issue.
When Thursday rolled around I got up late and in my haste to get my “workout” in (because you absolutely can not miss during marathon training) and get to the office, I did not have my quiet time. Well, I got to the office only to realize that I had a lot to do, a denist appointment to squeez in at 12:30, appointments to get ready for and I just felt ill prepared for the day. When I did get to the dentist at 12:35 they infomed me that my appointment was at 12:10 and they couldn’t work me in. It was ok with me because who likes going to the dentist anyway and I felt unprepared to even see the dentist!
I was telling Rebecca how I felt that afternoon and she started asking me some of our our most familiar questions that I ask clients…one of which was, “do you feel out of control?”. My response was no – because I know I was never in control to begin with – God is – but after thinking about that – I realized – I don’t feel out of control but I feel condemned!
After some honest soul searching, here is what I felt like God spoke to me about…There were these thoughts in my head like, “This pain you are feeling is God punishing you because you didn’t totally pray about running this marathon…you just thought about it for awhile and signed yourself up. God is not going to let you run this marathon now. He is certaintly not going to minister through you today because you didn’t spend time with him this morning. Who do you think you are anyway trying to point these folks to God when you didn’t even spend time with Him this morning!” Wow…how foreign is that?? Now, I knew in my mind that this could not be true, but I was afraid to face it until this morning on the way to the office. When I did have a quiet time this morning I still had my guard up, but driving in to the office this morning my guard began to drop a little as I thought about things. All the sudden I had these thougths: “Dana, with regards to running, what have you always wanted to do? (run a marathon). At any other time of your life was there presented to you the right time and opportunity to train and run one? (no). You thought it was so impossible to even seriously pray about running one – oh you have mentioned it a few times – but you have never seriously prayed about it but, because I love you – I have provided the friends to train with, and the time and opportunity to run one. I am giving you the desires of your heart.” Immediately I thought of Psalms 37:4 “Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Wow…there is a change in thought! Because I have delighted myself in Him and He loves me, He gives me the desires of my heart. Now remember – we have to keep things in perspective here and interpret this verse correctly. God has not provided me a 4 door Jeep Wrangler yet – so lets be careful!!
By faith I do believe I will complete this training and by faith I do believe I will cross that finish line. Will the process be painful…probably…but will God see me through…You bet! BTW…the same is true of our spiritual journey. Hebrews says to run the race set before us keeping our eyes focused on the author and PERFECTER of our faith. Will you and I complete this spiritual training…yes! (Phil 1:4) Will the process be painful…probably, but He said in Corinthians that His GRACE would be sufficient for you and me!
Looking forward to seeing you at the Finish Line!
Dana