I have experienced a recurring theme in my life. It’s that painful feeling of rejection that comes from not being heard. Sometimes it happens when someone completely misunderstands what I’ve said. At other times I feel like someone is just not listening or paying attention to what I’m saying. I’m sure many of you have felt the same way. It’s a common desire to want to be heard, to be understood, to be known.
I was struggling in this area this past week when God revealed Himself to me. I recently heard someone say that God doesn’t speak to us audibly, He speaks louder than that. The other night, I experienced this when His quiet words penetrated deep into my heart.
As I began to think about why I was hurt, I poured out my heart to God,(Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:8) “I feel hurt. I feel unimportant. I feel of little value. I feel insignificant. I want to be heard. I want to be understood. I want to be known. Are my thoughts/feelings not worth something? Am I not worth listening to?” I had somewhere along the way in my life made the false assumption that if people listened to me, then I was important, but if people didn’t listen to me, then I was not important. Because of this false belief, I have looked to people to make me feel significant. On this evening, I read this paraphrase of Psalm 139:
I know you-when you sit down and get up, what you think. I carefully watch over you as you move through your day and then sleep at night. I am intimately acquainted with everything about you.
Through this, God told me that I’m important; I’m special; He knows me; He pays attention to me. He is the one who deems me significant, not other people. If I look to people to be heard, be understood, be known, I will be disappointed and hurt, but if I look to God, I see that I have everything I need in Him.